Why I’m Worthy

Coco — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:23:03 +0000

In this day and age, who doesn’t have a blog? I mean, seriously, my mother, my brother, my babysitter, and my 10-year-old are all capable of starting a blog. There’s no prerequisite, requirement of formal education, or requirement to grammatically form a sentence, for that matter. So, instead of tell you that I began my blogging experience in order to captivate a virtual audience so that I can retire from it, blah, blah blah…I’ll post my resume. So, here you go.

CoCo LaRue

Spectacular Useless Information Officer

12345 Don’t Stalk Me

Wouldn’cha-like-to-know, TX 78701

(800) STALKERS-R-YOU

Objective: Attain a position where I can Tweet, browse the Net, Facebook, and Blog all day.

Education: University of Give Us Your Money, Diploma on the Wall, American Dream, TX (Major: Communications) (Minor: Socializing)

Experience:

Mastering a Beer Bong
Master Flirt
Fabricating Reality
Locating the Loophole
Judging
Master Complainer
Spending Money (on Useless Items)
Bitching
Nagging
Taught Criticizing 101
Authored an article entitled “Excuses 1001″

Skills/Qualities:

Ability to Overcome a Horrible Situation
Love Hard
Brown Noser
Speak Spanish to complain about you behind your back
Master of Facades
Can Vindicate anyone
Work Hard
Fabulous Person
Love My Children
Love My Husband
Master of Words

References: (512) 555-1212 – ask for anyone but my ex. (He’ll only tell you lies.)

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Me

Coconut Unleashed...

Why I’m Worthy