In this day and age, who doesn’t have a blog? I mean, seriously, my mother, my brother, my babysitter, and my 10-year-old are all capable of starting a blog. There’s no prerequisite, requirement of formal education, or requirement to grammatically form a sentence, for that matter. So, instead of tell you that I began my blogging experience in order to captivate a virtual audience so that I can retire from it, blah, blah blah…I’ll post my resume. So, here you go.
CoCo LaRue Spectacular Useless Information Officer 12345 Don’t Stalk Me Wouldn’cha-like-to-know, TX 78701 (800) STALKERS-R-YOUObjective: Attain a position where I can Tweet, browse the Net, Facebook, and Blog all day.
Education: University of Give Us Your Money, Diploma on the Wall, American Dream, TX (Major: Communications) (Minor: Socializing)
Experience:
- Mastering a Beer Bong
- Master Flirt
- Fabricating Reality
- Locating the Loophole
- Judging
- Master Complainer
- Spending Money (on Useless Items)
- Bitching
- Nagging
- Taught Criticizing 101
- Authored an article entitled “Excuses 1001″
Skills/Qualities:
- Ability to Overcome a Horrible Situation
- Love Hard
- Brown Noser
- Speak Spanish to complain about you behind your back
- Master of Facades
- Can Vindicate anyone
- Work Hard
- Fabulous Person
- Love My Children
- Love My Husband
- Master of Words
References: (512) 555-1212 – ask for anyone but my ex. (He’ll only tell you lies.)
Love or Hate Relationship...